God forbid a person has hobbies

What's it gonna take for you to try out something new?

I completely forgot about it with the hell-fire¹ weeks we’ve been having, but as of May 14, I’ve been writing this newsletter for three years! Thank YOU for reading — I’m glad you give me a few mins of your time every week or so, and I hope you stick around until you want to! 💜

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We all wanna be good at doing things — even if we’re doing them for the first time. Even if we know that’s stupid to expect. 

In my cover letters, I always mention that I’m a quick study, and in my job interviews, I flag that there’s gonna be a learning curve as I settle into a new role and its nonsensical internal systems. But in my head, I always want and expect to ace everything immediately. 

This is also how I approach hobbies. Two months ago, I began swimming lessons, and I assumed I would (pardon my pun) glide through the lessons and swiftly emerge as a proficient swimmer. Except — mastering breathing and swimming at the same time has been trickier than I expected. I came very close to giving up after a few lessons of being unable to do it properly. 

We’re all like this — most of us give up on activities simply because we want to do them well the very first time. Somewhere between learning how to speak and play as children and becoming adults with degrees and jobs, we lose the ability to want to try again and again. Failure (especially for things in our control) becomes something we’re unaccustomed to and definitely don’t want to experience again.

Before I make my pitch for trying out new hobbies, I know that hobbies are a matter of privilege. I’ve already written about it here — 

Having hobbies as adults is such a luxury that we have no patience and time to dedicate to learning a new skill. It’s so much better to stick with what we know and read a book or go on a hike rather than learn how to crochet or get into journaling — what if it takes too long? What if I’m shit at it? 

Well then, you’re shit at it. But it can still be fun to do — both of those things can be true at the same time. 

Let’s assume you’ve successfully achieved everything except your self-actualization needs on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Now, you need to do something for yourself — whether to occupy your time, for fun, or to give your life meaning. Whatever the reason, a hobby is where you’ve landed. 

Exercising and socializing are the cornerstone of hobbies in adulthood. Because even the richest have a shortage of time — bodies will decay if they’re not cared for, and no human can exist without friends (or lackeys, whatever). 

But what about creative hobbies? What about hobbies that just pass the time? What about hobbies you’ve always wanted to try out as a child but never had the time/energy/funds for? And if you find the drive, energy, and funds to try a (new) hobby, is it even possible to learn things from scratch in adulthood — aren’t our brains fully developed? 

Thankfully, neuroplasticity doesn’t have an age limit. 

“An adult’s brain retains the ability to form new neural connections and pathways in response to learning new skills, acquiring knowledge, or engaging in novel experiences. Whether you’re learning a new language, playing a musical instrument, or picking up a new hobby, your brain adapts by creating new connections and modifying existing ones.” 

Picking up something new as an adult is daunting because it feels like others are ready to ridicule or question you — Why do you wanna learn how to book bind now? Are you going to going to sell the spoons you’re woodworking? Spending money on a hobby can feel stupid — what if it never goes anywhere? 

Well, where is it supposed to go? You don’t need to monetize all your hobbies. Not all or any of them have to have any utility either — they can just be for you. 

Okay, you’ve convinced me — what kind of hobbies sh/could I get into? 

At some point in 2021, TikToks and reels talked about how hobbies also needed to improve one’s life; they shouldn’t just be fun to do.

“It’s essential for everyone to have 5 types of hobbies: fitness, creative, knowledge-building, social, and money-making.” 

It reads a bit like LinkedIn-bs, the kind that only exists to make you feel bad about yourself. But I think there’s a decent idea in that trend — pursuing and discarding multiple hobbies depending on what’s interesting to you at that time. 

“What hobbies can a 25-year-old have other than drinking and gym?”

As children, we pursue things if we have either access to or an interest in them. You can’t become a pianist unless your parents can fund (a child’s version of) the instrument and some form of lessons. You definitely won’t become a pianist if you quit classes after a week because they’re just not your thing. 

As adults, the world is a bigger oyster than when we were kids. The internet is wonderful; you can learn how to do almost anything today. So, to paraphrase a recently trending question: 

Can we even have hobbies that aren’t just consuming media? 

Yeah, but it’s gonna take some effort. My friend

sal

’s advice is to try something new that you may wanna make a hobby out of with friends first. She realized that when she took up an activity (like pottery) with her friends, the idea of measuring her progress or levelling up her skill didn’t strike her because all she wanted to do was have a fun time with the gang.

In a similar vein, earlier this year, I hosted a sip-and-paint afternoon because I wanted to see if I could get into painting as a relaxing, creative, screen-free hobby. From my painting, it seems I don’t have the talent, but I do have the gumption for painting (or sipping, at any rate). 💀

When you introduce something new into your life with friends, you make it more fun and lower the stakes for immediate success. Because then the goal shifts from ‘Gotta do it well the first time’ to ‘I’m having fun trying this out!’”

Remember, hobbies can be whatever the fuck you want, and they can take up your life however you deem fit. Whether you want to monetize them, use them for external validation, or just pass the time on a random Saturday afternoon, don’t let the idea of not doing something well for the first time stop you. 

P.S. If you want to see my attempt at painting on a canvas for the first (?) time, please let me know; I am thrilled to share my amateur painting but will not impose it on your eyes for no reason. 

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What's on my mind rn 💭

• The Rafah Massacre — Israel bombed Rafah, a place they designated as a "safe zone," over 60 times in 48 hours. They bombed tents — people were burned alive, children decapitated. Amplify Palestinian voices and donate to fundraisers, relief movements, and don't ignore the genocide. (Tweet by

  Clara
  .)

  

• Watched Bridgerton S3 Part 1? Enjoyed it? The fun police have come for you — apparently, it's unfathomable to enjoy something that has "low" stakes (although, as someone pointed out, there are stakes, it's just for the women, though). Anyway, let women enjoy things & we desperately need frivolous, chill media (even if Bridgerton isn't that). Thanks!

• A course on learning how to learn to improve your brain’s neuroplasticity.

• On women’s vs. men’s hobbies.

• Google's new AI search results are batshit crazy, but they're hilarious to read.

• A GORGEOUS shot of a surface-lunge-feeding Blue Whale.

• Please go through the quote tweets to see some of the most iconic quotes of our time that sound biblical or fancy but have come from truly delightful or (and) unhinged places on the internet. My fav: The gutter looks at the stars too.

Thanks for reading! Please hit the heart below or drop a comment if you liked it (helps more people find this newsletter + gives me a serotonin boost). 🖤

1

Both metaphorically and literally — the last two/three weeks have been insanely hot, and most of Asia is suffering from intense heat waves. I can’t believe this is the coldest summer of my life, the future doesn’t look promising at all?!