When I was about high school age, I recognized that pretty much the main critical voice in my head was telling me I was lazy (I wasn't not lazy, but when I was younger I was someone who loved nothing better than to read or make up stories in my mind.) But I was puzzled because it was my father's voice (who was really quite a gentle, kind man--except when he was trying to teach me a sport) not my mother's voice (who was kind as well, but in the 1950s as a mother of a daughter, she was the one expecting me to do chores and getting frustrated when I would forget to turn off the oven, or do the dishes because I got distracted by a good book.) Then I learned that my father's older, bullying brother had among other things constantly told him he was lazy, and if he just worked harder he would be a better swimmer...etc. So my critical voice was actually that of my rather nasty, alcoholic uncle! That made me very suspicious of that voice from that point on. I've, in fact, made it a point of pride when I have done something that made things easier--especially when hearing that lazy voice in my head. For example, when I shifted from teaching history at 4 year university (maybe max 50 students a semester), to a community college job (250 students a semester) I shifted away from take home exams/research papers to in class essays because they were much faster and easier to grade. Now with the profession throwing up their hands in despair over how to handle AI produced papers , with in-class, hand-written essays being a solution, I can say to myself, my "easier" method was just smarter for me, as it will be for them, and be proud that I didn't succumb to the "I should" when I compared myself to colleagues who were still teaching at the 4 year institutions. Needless to say, I loved this essay, and had me proudly going through all the decisions I made over the years to do things easier, and reject that uncle's voice.
I've heard some people recommend "naming" or identifying the voice in your head (like you did!) to be able to counteract their mean things easier. I was also recently told a therapist (not mine, but still an important figure in my life) that "I should not "should" all over myself" — I hope to reach the level of clarity and calm you have about taking the easier way for myself sooner rather than later too. And tbh, in-person/class essays are SO MUCH better for students too! Especially if they're open-book or offered with 1-2 pages of notes. More application based rather than learning how to evade checks.
Thanks so much for reading, I'm so glad you liked this! :)
When I was about high school age, I recognized that pretty much the main critical voice in my head was telling me I was lazy (I wasn't not lazy, but when I was younger I was someone who loved nothing better than to read or make up stories in my mind.) But I was puzzled because it was my father's voice (who was really quite a gentle, kind man--except when he was trying to teach me a sport) not my mother's voice (who was kind as well, but in the 1950s as a mother of a daughter, she was the one expecting me to do chores and getting frustrated when I would forget to turn off the oven, or do the dishes because I got distracted by a good book.) Then I learned that my father's older, bullying brother had among other things constantly told him he was lazy, and if he just worked harder he would be a better swimmer...etc. So my critical voice was actually that of my rather nasty, alcoholic uncle! That made me very suspicious of that voice from that point on. I've, in fact, made it a point of pride when I have done something that made things easier--especially when hearing that lazy voice in my head. For example, when I shifted from teaching history at 4 year university (maybe max 50 students a semester), to a community college job (250 students a semester) I shifted away from take home exams/research papers to in class essays because they were much faster and easier to grade. Now with the profession throwing up their hands in despair over how to handle AI produced papers , with in-class, hand-written essays being a solution, I can say to myself, my "easier" method was just smarter for me, as it will be for them, and be proud that I didn't succumb to the "I should" when I compared myself to colleagues who were still teaching at the 4 year institutions. Needless to say, I loved this essay, and had me proudly going through all the decisions I made over the years to do things easier, and reject that uncle's voice.
I've heard some people recommend "naming" or identifying the voice in your head (like you did!) to be able to counteract their mean things easier. I was also recently told a therapist (not mine, but still an important figure in my life) that "I should not "should" all over myself" — I hope to reach the level of clarity and calm you have about taking the easier way for myself sooner rather than later too. And tbh, in-person/class essays are SO MUCH better for students too! Especially if they're open-book or offered with 1-2 pages of notes. More application based rather than learning how to evade checks.
Thanks so much for reading, I'm so glad you liked this! :)
I saw the 1/3rd-2/3rd reel on Insta recently, and it sent me into a reflection on all my jobs! Cool issue, bro.
Thanks so much, friendo! <3
Loved the 2/3rd-1/3rd rule! I'm going to keep it in mind.
P.S. that's a vv pretty muscari!
Hehehe, thanks so much, friendo! <3