Why are we losing all our third spaces?
And where are we supposed to socialize as a community once we've lost them all?
Happy new year!✨ What have you been up to the last 2-ish weeks?
Where do you hang out nowadays?
Until I left university, I never needed to have a place to ‘hang out’ with my friends or loved ones. I either met them on campus or as a kid, we had playgrounds, school, and summer camps — spaces dedicated to helping us socialize.
Now, as I think about it, most of my friends & I either hang out at someone’s home or go out for drinks/food. There’s an occasional activity like a pottery workshop or a heritage walk, but they’re so few & far between I can’t really consider them our usual hangout spaces.
The loss of the third space — our social space — has happened silently over the last few years.
What is a third space, and why is it so important?
American sociologists Ramon Oldenburg and Dennis Brissett first defined them in 1982 as public spaces crucial for neighbourhoods as a space to interact, gather, meet and talk. These places help communities and groups build and retain a sense of cohesion. - BBC
You may know common third spaces like:
Parks
Libraries
Local coffee shops
Churches/similar religious institutions
Marketplaces
Essentially, they’re places where you can hang out for free (or very little money) and, most importantly, have an opportunity to meet other people.
Over the last few years, our first space (home) and second space (work) have merged for many people who work from home. Today, with growing capitalism, where you need to spend money to spend time in a place, we’re swiftly losing any remaining third spaces, too.
Libraries are consistently underfunded and picked upon despite providing services and a safe space for people who may not have access to them otherwise. Let’s not even talk about the threats indie bookstores constantly face to stay open.
Public libraries are English teachers, job hunters, after-school administrators, technology trainers and citizenship educators. They are cooling and heating centres and refuges. They serve the very young and the very old.
Local coffee shops/bars are being driven out due to stiff competition from billion-dollar companies who offer ridiculous discounts & deals to attract us. Marketplaces have long since gone online. While the physical ‘high street’ still exists for shopping, it’s not the same anymore.
As a child, my third spaces were churches & libraries. Whether it was youth group activities or a free summer camp, these were spaces where I could meet other kids, learn from them, and make friends.
Most importantly, third spaces are level places. This means everyone’s on an equal footing — whether you’re a CEO walking your dog or a random person enjoying the sunshine, the third space (the park) welcomes you in the same way.
There are no prerequisites or requirements that would prevent acceptance or participation in the third place.
Can’t we just hang out at home?
Yeah, you could. But that’s assuming all your friends & loved ones stay close enough to you (or are willing to travel to you) and that you’re okay hosting them.
Remember what I said about your home being your first space? This is where you have domestic labour. At work (second space), you’ve got professional labour. A third space is a neutral space that allows you to be free of those associations.
Unless you enjoy hosting all the time, there’s a downside to meshing your third space & first space. Cleaning up aside, it takes a lot of mental energy to host and ensure everyone’s having a good time. If you’re a guest, you have to be careful not to overstay your welcome & figure out how to get to & back in time for your work/home commitments.
Now, imagine you live differently — perhaps you’ve moved for work? Or maybe several of your friends have moved away. Living away from your friends is hard enough without the chances & spaces to make new friends being taken away from you.
Then, add in the fact that newer third spaces cost money (in an increasingly expensive world) — e.g., gym memberships, time limits on spending time in the coffee shop/community centre, etc. All this makes for a very lonely generation of young adults who don’t realize how much human connection they actually need.
Also, there’s something to be said about virtual third spaces — think Discord servers, group chats, or Slack channels. These spaces allow us to meet others and relax/talk — however, they’re probably still within our first or second space, so we don’t get the full benefit of detaching ourselves.
So, what’s the solution?
Well, short of a billionaire generously creating libraries & community centers where you live, urban planning is where third spaces can thrive again. Our leaders need to actively create new & protect existing third spaces with grants, funding, or simple engagement initiatives.
As people in a community, we need to champion and use our communal spaces. Whether that’s by attending planning sessions, making campaigns, or just ensuring our voices are heard when it comes to protecting these third spaces.
The easiest way to convince someone in power (or someone with wealth) about the importance of third spaces is to show them how they can positively impact productivity.
Loss of a (third) space to retreat to impacts on “deep work”, and, consequently career progression. Focused work that “requires heads down, solitary thinking” becomes almost impossible to achieve if you are working in the same confined space as your kids or ageing parents, for example.
So I guess, since capitalism and the desire to make money out of every interaction drive the loss of third spaces today, we have to reverse-engineer the whole thing to gain them back.
What’s your preferred third space, friends?
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Nia's newsletter rec:
If you've set an ambitious Goodreads goal, here's a fantastic bookish newsletter to readto get recommendations on what to read: ratchel reads. From multigenre book reviews to cultivated lists to help you grow your to-be-read pile, there's plenty of inspiration in her newsletter for your reading needs!
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Did you know that when people said bears hibernate all winter, they did not mean they sleep for like 3-4 months? Apparently, hibernate in this context means they're awake, but they just eat & defecate less. Did y’all already know this??
Currently listening to: fireflies
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Trying to keep this energy:
Source: starparkdesigns
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My favorite third space is the outdoors, preferably hiking in the woods.
I am finding this piece months later, but this is one reason I love living in my city - its suburban but art-focused and makes a HUGE effort on community events that are free with options to purchase such as farmers markets with entertainment, pride events, Day of Music, etc. I can ride my bike downtown and feel a part of the community. We also have community trails to walk that saved my sanity during the pandemic. Everyone needs this, you are so right.