What does a legacy mean to you?

And is it ok if I don't really want to leave one?

What are your great-grandparents’ names? 

I don’t know mine. I’d venture most of you reading this also don’t know yours. And that’s normal. We’re a few generations apart, and people tend to forget about people who aren’t in our close circles after some years. 

Which is why it’s so ironic that we’re all so obsessed with legacies and leaving one behind. Pretty much all of us want to be remembered once we pass on; we want something, anything, of ours to be cherished, recognized, and retained in history. This desire governs so much of our lives and bleeds into what we prioritize every day. 

You may know it as: 

• Finding your purpose

• Impacting the world in a significant way

• Leaving a legacy behind

• Doing what you were put on earth to do, etc, etc. 

The problem with looking for a life purpose: Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Technically, I don’t think it’s stupid to look for a life purpose or want to leave a legacy behind. It’s human nature to want our lives & stories to endure the passage of time. We want to something to show ‘I was here! I lived and did these cool things right here!’ — we want to share them with others (whether in the present or the future). Why else do you think we’ve got cave drawings and stuff from hundreds of years ago? 

Most of us think of our kids or our work as our legacies. We either create people who’ll remember us, or we create work we hope will keep our memory alive. Wanting to leave a work-based legacy is more universal — not everyone wants/can have/considers children to be their life’s purpose. 

But I think we worry a bit too much about our legacy & purpose as individual people. Few, if any, of us will be remembered for our contributions to humanity. Most of us will live simple, ordinary lives and be forgotten three or four generations ahead.

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During a recent conversation with a friend, I realized that there is nothing I will ever do that will be ‘the first’ or ‘the last’ something a human can do. Sure, I can write about interesting things, get published in cool magazines, or work for something I care about. But I don’t think that’ll be my legacy, not really. 

Creating accidental but meaningful legacies

The way I think about it, we stick around with people and in history in ways we don’t realize.

I don’t remember my great-grandmother’s name, and I’m not sure there’s someone alive I could ask either. But I do remember that she loved Dairy Milk — she always wanted a bite of my chocolate, and as a then-only child, I was reluctant to share, but her look of delight when I snuck her a bite still stays with me. 

I have an uncle I haven’t seen in years, but one night, when we were all at his place, he taught us how to eat raw carrots with chaat masala, and I’ve never really eaten carrots without it since. Any kids I have will grow up eating carrots like that, too. Maybe even their kids. 

And he doesn’t even know that’s his legacy in my life. 

Like him, we’re all more likely to be remembered for the small ways we impact and change people’s lives rather than a big work project or presentation we ace. Leaving behind a legacy or finding our purpose in life seems like a rather big task (especially when you have to figure out what to make for food thrice a day, do laundry, work 8 hours, socialize, and sleep enough). 

Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness.

Realizing that my work will eventually not matter was a bittersweet feeling. 

Bitter because what’s all the struggle and anxiety for then? Should I just do mediocre work and move on? 

I could (I wish I could, anyway). 

Sweet because I realized that it’s okay if I don’t leave a legacy behind. If I do work I enjoy, value, and believe in, that’s good enough, even if it doesn’t endure past my death. This gives me more time and energy to focus on what matters specifically to me: spending time with my loved ones, laughing at the same jokes, finding new things to talk about, or just silently hanging out and enjoying each other’s company where we accidentally influence & impact each other and create whatever versions of our legacies. 

And the best part about this realization that I may not get to leave a ‘conventional’ legacy behind is that I can still chase after and create the legacy I want to leave behind. I can still choose to set and then find my life’s purpose, which is the point of finding out your purpose anyway: doing something about it.

So, what do you think your legacy might be?

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Some links to check out this week 💌

• The nothingness of money. (Find talking about money improper?)

• Do nothing for 2 mins. 

• Too many tasks vying for priority? Here's a free tool to help you determine which task you need to do first. 

• Cute notion templates? Yes, please. Here's a habit tracker & a second brain/personal OS. 

• A Fall Out Boy song on legacies and suchlike to listen to: Centuries

• What happens when jobs are guaranteed? 

• I know it's only Tuesday. What's your point? 

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