Sometimes quitting is the best idea
It's okay to give up on projects and ideas if they don't serve you anymore.
In 2018, when I was studying abroad, I decided to do the "one photo a day" challenge. It's pretty self-explanatory. 365 posts later, I had a really nice overview of my entire year — I still go back and browse through and reminisce about those days.
On NYE 2019, I decided I wanted to do that for 2020 too. The first two months went great. I had a picture that told me I was doing something fun/interesting/new/mundane-but-nice every day.
Obviously, we know that didn't last. Sometime in March, the whole world went into lockdown. I tried my best to continue the pictures in April and May — showcasing the different dishes I was making, the many, many games of Among Us we all played, and all those Zoom call collages. I thought we'd be back to normal soon. That was a fun little dream while it lasted.
Early June 2020, I finally gave up. I'd run out of motivation to continue this project, and I had started disliking the entire idea of documenting what had turned out to be an extremely fucked up year.
Winners don't quit, and quitters don't win
A photo-a-day 2020 wasn't the first project I'd quit midway, and it won't be the last. From abandoned novels to seven-year-old blogs that now lie dormant, I've done my fair share of quitting. But, whether it's a conscious or unconscious decision, it always feels horrible.
The society we live in champions those who continue to power through, despite their odds, feelings, and whatever. Quitting a project midway opens you up to feelings of shame and guilt, not to mention the what-ifs that come with the passage of time. What if I'd continued writing on my blog — would it have been a famous one by now?
Surely, consistency always leads to good results. No?
Then there are those questions that people ask — weren't you working on a book? What happened to that blog you used to write? Why did you stop?
Unless someone understanding and empathetic is on the other side of that conversation, it can be tricky to explain your reasons for quitting. Whether it's because that thing didn't work for you anymore or your needs changed, it's always a little shameful to admit you didn't see something to its end.
But like my friend1 said after she helped me proofread this post, “This whole perseverance till you break idea is exhausting.”
So, what's the solution? Should you continue to persist and go along the path you charted previously? What happens if you're unsure about your needs? Do you even know if your needs and desires have changed, or are you just bored/tired/unmotivated?
Know when to cut your losses
First, let me preface this by saying that there's an important difference between stopping something because you want to stop and you have reasons to back your decision beyond “not feeling like it anymore.” Sometimes we tend to want to quit things because of internal things like lack of motivation or fear of the outcome.
Now, if you've figured out that something's just not working and it's not because you don't feel like doing it, then it's time to cut your losses. Unfortunately, most of us feel like continuing with things we don't want or need to anymore simply because we've invested time/money/effort into it already. That's your standard sunk cost fallacy in action.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes our tendency to follow through on an endeavor if we have already invested time, effort, or money into it, whether or not the current costs outweigh the benefits. — The Decision Lab
Continuously making huge efforts for small, tiny, almost immeasurable improvements or results is only going to sap your energy and motivation in the long run.
So should you quit or persist?
It's simple. You have to prioritize becoming your best self and choose whatever path takes you there. Whether that happens after quitting or continuing or even changing it up a little, that's on you to figure.
When you feel like a particular activity isn't working out anymore, take some time to evaluate the whys and what you can do to fix it before you quit something.
Sometimes it can feel like putting yourself out into the void without any results (or the specific results you want). In that case, to protect yourself from failure and hurt, you can set fixed time periods dedicated to achieving that goal.
For example, say you want your blog to be famous. Give it a year or so of consistent, well-written articles and see the performance. If it doesn't take off despite your best efforts, you need to make the executive decision to continue or quit depending on how much time and energy it takes you.
But there's also a different way to approach this conundrum:
Maybe a blog isn't what you're good at. Perhaps your strengths lie with podcasts or reels instead. Before giving up completely on a project, you could try pivoting to a slightly different idea and trying it out.
The only significant bit to remember is to make sure that whatever you're doing makes you or will make you happy and add to your sense of self (in the short or long term). It's not worth continuing and showing up consistently otherwise. You'll end up chasing someone else's goals simply because it looks like the right thing to do instead of exploring what you want to do and are good at doing.
My photo-a-day account is where I now post whenever-I-feel-like. There are skies and sunsets (my favourite), good hair days, and a random mishmash of pictures.
Had an anxious and overwhelming day yesterday, that’s why this issue is out a day late. Thanks for your patience! <3
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Weekly faves! 💌
Do you feel like giving up on routines if you skip a day or two? That's the 'what the hell' effect. Here's a psych-based article that will help you regain some of your initial focus and drive to do the thing even if you've missed a few days.
Everyone always says that a good night's sleep is essential to help you tackle the day. Read more about sleep hygiene and why it's important to prioritize both the quality and quantity of sleep you get every day.
Listen to radio stations from around the world on radio garden. (There's also drive & listen if you want another site.)
Here's your weekly reminder to bring your ideas to life even if you think they're not wholly original. I've talked about this before — original ideas are nonexistent and overrated anyway.
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Thank you Dhati, for helping me refine this post. You’re A1.