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I threw one of my best friends a PhD shower!

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Aug 30, 2022Liked by Nia

I'm coming at this from both sides. I was single until I was 46, when I got married to a man who was 41, also his first marriage. Honestly, I have never minded celebrating my many married friends' accomplishments (marriage, children, etc), and being single didn't keep me from celebrating my own. College graduation, housewarming, professional licensure, etc. Friends were always happy to celebrate with me, regardless of marital status. Regarding destination weddings, I think it's ludicrous to expect someone to pony up a bunch of money to go somewhere they may or may not be interested in going. Our wedding/honeymoon was in Hawaii, no guests invited, just the two of us on the beach with the officient and the photographer. Totally romantic and stress-free, and it cost about 5K. We had a potluck reception at a friend's house (she had a big yard) when we returned for all our friends and we specified NO GIFTS! Some people still gave us things, but that was their choice. It was a total blast, everyone had fun, and no one felt obligated or resentful for spending more money than they could afford. Celebrations shouldn't be seen as an opportunity to rake in loot, that's seriously warped IMHO. Just say no.

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LOVE this. I swear every week, it's like you're inside my brain! I have been single for my entire life and have done most of the "milestone" things alone, and it's frustrating. When I bought my first house, I asked my family if I could have a "housewarming shower," and I was surprised when everyone seemed excited about the idea. It felt weird asking at first, but knowing I didn't have marriage on the horizon at all, I wanted to show that I was proud and would love some small gifts from others, even if it was awkward at the time. It still feels awkward writing it out, but we don't think wedding showers are awkward!

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